Don't you send me to vm
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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