shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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