The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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