Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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