I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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