Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
