She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
