no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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