He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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