my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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