It's Friday. Sex?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
