Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize