so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
