We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
