Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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