worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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