I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
