I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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