I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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