when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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