He is such a slut. More and more my type.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
