so explain again why im purple
no
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
