i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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