Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
