btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
