idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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