My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
