Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
