Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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