I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
