it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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