As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
