who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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