wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
porn star boner night. come get it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
