Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize