I wanna bring you to show and tell
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
