so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
