I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He keeps bees of course he's weird
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
