Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
