there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
