how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
