I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
