I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
