so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
