HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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