If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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