Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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