I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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