White coat. Heels.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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