how can u be prego again
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize