All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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