The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
