what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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