Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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