eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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