Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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