I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
