What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
