so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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