Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
