is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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